zomgzomgzomgzomgzomg! XD Site stuff: I've been working on more content... mostly icons, blends, scribbles, that I'll try to add this afternoon. -pokes sidebar- rainbow you've probably seen the pride/support section. Visit it. It's nice. You don't have to be gay to support tolerance. Seriously. heart heart heart I would love you forever if you used a banner somewhere smile tehebilqueen (2:14:25 PM): no aliens this time, just evil ninjas "Christine is a [dirty rotton conservative] weirdo :O" (2:14:34 PM): Aah. tehebilqueen (2:15:08 PM): It's 'cause they aren't /real/ ninjas tehebilqueen (2:15:18 PM): they just wanna be ninjas "Christine is a [dirty rotton conservative] weirdo :O" (2:15:33 PM): Aah. tehebilqueen (2:16:17 PM): so pirate fairy ballerina magician levitating invisible ninjas tehebilqueen (2:16:22 PM): mhmm "Christine is a [dirty rotton conservative] weirdo :O" (2:16:32 PM): Aah. tehebilqueen (2:16:57 PM): and they captured all the candy hearts that Zorro gave to the tooth fairy three years ago "Christine is a [dirty rotton conservative] weirdo :O" (2:17:06 PM): Ooh. tehebilqueen (2:17:10 PM): She doesn't like candy hearts you see since they are bad for your teeth tehebilqueen (2:17:24 PM): but she keeps them anyway in a little box since it's the thought that counts "Christine is a [dirty rotton conservative] weirdo :O" (2:17:27 PM): Aah. tehebilqueen (2:17:58 PM): So now we need so computer geek uber cool metal ninjas to come and save the day tehebilqueen (2:18:07 PM): but we're still working on that part. tehebilqueen (2:18:08 PM): So yeah tehebilqueen (2:18:26 PM): busy busy with all these poser ninjas and uber awsome ninjas tehebilqueen (2:18:30 PM): but I'm fine tehebilqueen (2:18:32 PM): and you? boredom = weird conversations dead heart Jenny 11 Nov 2006 by Jenny comments (0) uuhfojlasdds;jmbe I'm just confused right now. really, really confused. I didn't really know him, but his death has really hit me hard. It's not so much that I'm missing him, but it makes me think of things in the past, and if it were one of my friends instead of him. I don't know why God chose him, but I don't believe that it was quite his time to go. To her: I'm sorry about how I acted... I really can't handle things right now. I still should have been nicer to you thought since it's really not your fault at all. I really didn't mean what I said before To him: Please, please don't mess up your life. I realize what you're going through right now, but if it were you instead of him, I don't think I would be able to take it at all. I wish I could take what you're going through, just take all of those problems from you so you wouldn't have to go through this, but I know I can't. I'll always, always be here though, no matter what. I promise. 03 Nov 2006 by Jenny comments (0) The Silence And The Puppeteer: Praise In The Paradox Of Humanity, All Too Cliche I listened to her breathe for a moment. Light, slow, barely noticeable breaths though they were, they captured my attention. The soft clicking of keys was present in the background. Perhaps to others this sound would have overpowered that of the breathing, but not for me. That wasn't just breathing, but it was her breathing and that was what made it so enrapturing. There was silence, in the snse of lack of words exchanged, in this moment when I listened to her breathing. This was not ar all an awkward silence, but a sense of understanding more than words could ever tell that I felt. People say that they wish to be an individual. People say that they want to be unique. People say that they want to stand out and not just be like a grain of sand in a desert. People go through so much trouble to say that everyone is different and that different is okay. They go through so much trouble to prove to the world that they aren't exactly likely everyone else. People are so glad that we aren't "some stupid clones". People take so much pride in being "themselves" and not "everybody else". But at the exact same time, they wish to fit in. They wish to be accepted. They wish to not make a scene and be noticed. They wish to conform so they won't feel as if they are alone, so they won't feel different than the others. Human altruism seems most real when deaing with love. Love, however, is not logical. Nor, might I add, is altruism in its truest sense. Emotions altogether are illogical, but perhaps all things related to humans are illogical so it is only reasonable that emotions, too, are illogical. Emotions cannot be started, stopped, or changed at will (and if you can I must know your secret). There is a certain overpowering emotion so strong it aches in it's surges. It weakens and fills one with a certain high. It can cause the greatest happieness, but more often then not, its lashing blows leave scars so deep they never heal. The other day I took part in a conversation though for the most part I suppose I just listened and seethed silently. One person thought gays were evil. The other felt sortty for gays and their abnormality. They said this "defect" was not the gay's fault. Seriously I'm not sure which person's comment is more offending. Evil is such a strong word, especiallt for something that someone cannot help being, something that never hurt anyone like being gay. But at the same time, I can handle abnormality, different, strange... but a defect! a disease! I cannot tolerate that. To some people, anything at all out of the ordinary, anything not "normal" is a defect, a flaw, an imperfection. The way people judge other is silly at best, but more usually awful, horrible, evil. People see a scar or a birthmark and automatically back away as if they are awfraid they might catch some ultra-contagious disease. The very people who have these so called "imperfections" sometimes get so used to being treated so horribly that they often start to hate it, the "imperfection", and even themselves. To treat someone in an awful manner to such an extent that the very people being persecuted start to hate themselves is so awful in my opinion. I'm sure the comments I'll get will be something along the lines of either a. Oh yeah that's terrible or b. they will point out that I am being a hypocrite. I am not at all denying that I am imperfect. Nor do I feel I have any more knowledge or concern then anyone else. I feel that I am just as evil and awful and every other human being on the planet and I deserve to die just like the rest of you lot. And just because I feel like I should point this out, yes, I am human. There are a few people that it would be really cool if you'd visit (: Society's Plague is having a concert at Garrad Country Fairgrounds in Kentucky on the 28th. Krissy has a pretty amazing site tell Brad (Aud) to get off her arse and get her site back up. (P.S. get past her index by clicking here. 18 Oct 2006 by Jenny comments (0) Fear Of The Dark New layout obviously. Critisism is welcome. But like actual feedback please... not just "it sucks" or "cool" but tell me what you really think. What you like, what you hate. All that stuff. I will get around to commenting all of you back. Sorry I've been so inactive on the site. It's fall break for me at the moment though so I have quite a bit more free time. Society's Plague is having a concert on the 28nd of October at Garrad County Fairgrounds in Kentucky. I'm going to try to be there. Can of you make it? heart It should be an amazing show. Someone has been leaving links to adult content in comments. Try it again, and I'lll block your IP. kthx. I don't appreciate it. In other new, I've added several brushes and I'm working on some more content (: earlier today! (: 10 Oct 2006 by Jenny comments (0) You might call it cynicism, but I call it being realistic eh I've been SO busy I haven't blogged in like well... longer than normal lmao. So first things first school sucks. pretty much that's it XD Geometry has been my easiest class by far. I have homework most nights but it's usually simple stuff that only takes about half an hour or less. Chemistry is tough. I'm pretty sure I'll make an A in the class, but so far my average is probably a low B. AP Bio is WAY over my head at the moment. I'll read the text book, I take good notes, but this is just SO hard X_X AP Euro is hard too. I got a B on the first test which isn't good, but at least it's only a B and not any worse then that. Then on our first book test (we have lecture tests and book tests) I got a 65. I've always done good in his classes before, so I guess I've learned my lesson. I can't just skim the chapter, I'm really actually going to have to read it and probably multiple times. If only I had the time for this -sigh- So the other day in Geometry we got our tests back and I got a 100. I was pretty happy since my grades in my other classes weren't going so well but it had been a pretty easy test and a certainly expected A and at the very least a high B. Bethany got a 94, If it were Cameron or for that matter anyone else who always gets a higher score than me I could have poked fun at actually getting a higher score, but well Bethany freaked about her 94. She's all like but I need at least a 95 average in every class and my 94 is so going to bring my grade down. I was well almost laughing, but at the same time I really held myself back because well Bethany is my friend. A fuxking 94 is not a bad grade though. I tried to tell her that I would be happy with a 94 but she was all like yeah but you got a hundred. I mean I want to do good, but I didn't especially even freak about my 65, I just know that I've learned my lesson and I really need to study next time. My mom and I were bitching at each other, or rather, my mom was bitching at me and then I started bitching back because I was tired of it. My mom is making me read this book about confucianism. She's Chinese and she well thinks I'm "too American" and that my dad and just being in America for so long has influenced me in the wrong way. She uses being American like an insult though. I certainly don't think of myself as American, but I know I'm not Chinese either -.- So then this friend of my mom's, a chinese student at Lindsey, was here last night. It was kind of annoying having him here. My mom and I were still sort of bitching at eachother but we sort of did it like, I don't know, politely since there was someone over. My mom asked my opinion on a couple of things later. I told her my honest opinion. She got mad at me. Next time she should ask me to tell her what I think her opinion is, not what my opinion is. So my mom thinks I'm a pessimist and extremely cynical. It's really not that at all, I'm just being telling the trust instead of lying about the facts. Pretty much I think that humans are all greedy, undeserving, entirely self-centered little fuckers. The only reason why humans are at all altruistic is a) because the feel guilty. If they do not do something nice or helpful then they will feel morally wrong. Oh no this isn't being good for good sake, it's being good so you won't feel guilty and bad about it later. and b) because humans feel that if they do nice things for other little fucktards then the other humans will later do something nicer or helpful in return. It also makes people "owe" you which makes you have power over them. I also believe that like is one huge bureaucracy. We are always trying to work our way to the top. We want to have pwer over people. We want to be better and get people to like us so that we can get higher up in the bureaucracy. We try make people happy. This can be done by having people over, simply pretending to be their friend, doing favors for people. It's good to be nice to people bellow you so you have support, and it's good to be nice to you boss's and people high up so you're likely to progress high up on the ladder. How do you make yourself a better person? By being happier. The reason we live is to make ourselves happier, look better, and get higher up in this perpertual game, then we die. Some people get busy and make more like humans in this whole thing called life. These people are why this game still continues. It's okay if it's at the expense of others. We do anything and everything to make ourselves happy. If we ending up helping people, good for them, if we don't, hey it's cool as long as we're still in. We are all part of the game. There is no way out. I guess I'll just play the game then since theres nothing else to do. If I lose? no big deal. There's no possible way to completely win If I mess up? It's all a game, it doesn't matter 16 Sep 2006 by Jenny comments (0) all the things I thought I knew So last night I was listening to some music on my laptop... Mostly Trivium and In Flames and a couple of songs by Rage Against The Machine too... and then I got this really weird feeling that I wanted to listen to Avril Lavigne. Yes, you heard me Avril Lavigne Avril fucking Lavigne. But anyway, I went to my room, and not even to my CD case because I don't keep shit CDs in my CD case and I rummaged around until I found my Avril Lavigne CDs that I haven't even touched in years. pshht What's sad is that when I was listening to the songs... in spite of the fact that I have't heard them in years, I still knew all the words. I still think Avril's annoying... I don't think it as so mch that I wanted to listen to her but that well it bringsback old memories. Anyway, I have Avril stuck in my head. "You've got your dumb friends I know what they say, they tell you I'm difficult well so are they. But they don't know me, do they even know you? All the things you hide from me. All the shit that you do. You were all the things I thought I knew and I thought we could be. You were everything, everything that I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it..." Pshht. Ah Well. Lauren is officially weird. She makes me laugh though XD "lol....spanish is a beatiful lang.... plus... french people dont shave their arm-pits!!! =0 ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Jenny Date: Sep 2, 2006 4:24 PM *shrugs* I just want to take French... idk... It sounds more interesting than spanish. ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: drown in perfection.... Date: Sep 2, 2006 2:41 PM oooh... spanish is alot easier to learn... well at least for me it is. ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Jenny Date: Sep 2, 2006 1:43 PM I haven't taken any of my language classes yet because I just haven't had time... I'm probably going to end up taking French though." LMAO How do you respond to something like that? Anyway, I've now finished my first week as a sophomore. My schedule is going to end up killing me x_X especially with all of the extra-curricular acctivites I'm involved with. Next semester should be a lot easier though. First Semester: 1st Block -- Acc. Geometry It's an accelerated class... and math really isn't my strong point, but it's still probably my easiest class and at least I have friends that are taking the class with me. 34 kids in the class. oh my. 2nd Block -- Chemistry I I'm the only sophomore in the class. I already took Freshman Survey Science, Biology I, and Intro To Chemistry And Physics my freshman year and since Freshman Survey and ICP are required for Chemistry I, I was able to take the class. People are required to take the 3 science classes I took my freshman year, plus either chemistry or physics I. Since I plan on taking both Chemistry and Physics, and after that AP Chemistry and Physics I uh yeah XD. Anyway the only person I actually know ddecently well in the class is this junior, Gabrielle. pshht ch'yeah. There's maybe 20 people in the class or so. Not overly full, but there are deffinately people in the class. 3rd -- AP Biology There's only 6 people in the class including me. The other 5 students are seniors. The requirements are the three science classes I took my freshman year, although it's a good idea to also take Chemistry I before hand. Because my grades are pretty good and I'm taking Chemistry at the same time the teacher decided to let me take the class. It's really hard. It's a lot of work. x_X I feel like I have to do well in the class and try my best since she sort of did me a favor in even letting me take the class. 4th -- AP European History I was going to take AP American first, but AP American conflicts with Chemistry so I'm taking Euro first. Peck, who teaches all of the upper level history classes is a really good teacher. I had him last semester for World Civilizations - Honors. We have pretty different views but he respects my opinion and I respect his so it's all cool. There's only about 12 or 13 people in the class but that's about what I expected so it's cool. AP Euro requires a lot of reading... but it's easier for me since it's pretty much an entirely lectures & tests class. There aren't any stupid worksheets or any of that nonsense. I'm used to tests counting for pretty much everything from the college classes I've taken so I'm cool with it. And then on top of that I have Creative ministries, Academic team, and an evening class, American History at the college. Ch'yeah. My schedule = I have no free time. dead anyway, if you haven't already, check out the band Society's Plague heart heart heart Please? 03 Sep 2006 by Jenny comments (0) titles are lame ch'yeah I just finished reading Orson Scott Card's Children Of The Mind. As much as I hate to admit it, it was actually a pretty good read. Orson Scott Card is a fucking bastard of a person... one of those people that I just would not get along with. He's closeminded, ignorant, and just angry. But but but... he's a brilliant writer and I love his books. So I still say I hate him even though I really do think he's a great writer. Society's Plague i having a show tonight... and I probably won't be able to go. My mom is still in Lexington, and althoug she does come home today, I have no clue what time she's actually going to be here. I highly doubt that she'll get home in time for me to go. On top of that my mom probably wouldn't be up to taking me... and my day will be teaching so he won't be able to take me. Even if the could, it's a two hour drive so they probably wouldn't want to. If my mom takes me it would be a total of 6 hours of driving for her... and she really probably wouldn't be all that happy about that. sad I really really do want to go though. As far as the site goes, I've added brushes, and I'm working on more brushes. I'm working on a couple of tutorials... and I'm thinking about adding some more MS Paint stuff. I might add some more psds... of like bands and stuff too because most psd sites mostly have actresses and models... and it would be nice to have more like bands and ch'yeah. Anyway, sometime when you have time you should check out the bands Society's Plague and New London Fire. *pokes sidebar* Society's Plague is this really great metal band. So if you're into metal/screamo/hardcore/progressive/melodic death metal or if you just want to be nice to me then listen to them sometime on their site, myspace or last.fm. If you're into more softer rock... If you like Cold Play, U2... or you just want something softer but still rock to listen to occasionally then please listen to New London Fire sometime. You cna listen to them on thier site, purevolume, myspace, and last.fm. Both bands are amazing. They have fresh unique sounds and a bands that really have a lot of potential. ^^ syringe New London Fire & Society's Plague 25 Aug 2006 by Jenny comments (0) You would kill for this... I made new brushes... like... a lot of new brushes grin haha I'm too lazy to put them up now. So pretty much tomorrow or sometime when I'm not so lazy new brushes + new graphics + maybe a tutorial or two. anddd CSS. really. I promise this time. lmao. rainbow myeah anyway, I tried lineart for the first time today. Needless to say, I suck. majorly. dead And I completely gave up on actually coloring in the lineart... Aud says I need more detail. She's right... only the thing is when I try the tiny detail stuff I end up making it look awful and yeahhh. eh Maybe some people are good with the pen tool, but I personally think it hates me. like yeah HATES. It probably haunts me and lives in my closet and comes out at night to say all the little children ghost haha. I suck. So anyway if you're into metal you should check out this band Society's Plague. I think they are actually pretty good smile You know those goggle/sunglasses things that they have at like Hot Topic and stuff? I want some... no I need a pair. *nod nod* I said need. :/ So anyway, I lightened the color of the links because I agree, they weren't overly readable. andd... google adds. Not a lot. Just a searchy thing and some text links. If you would click, I would love you forever... and if you like the site, you should click... because it'll all go towards keeping the site up. This site started January 2nd... and well... if you still want it up this upcoming January 2nd, then there needs to be some way to pay for it to stay up, right? Also... I'm thinking about selling some layouts. Would anyone buy? Just a thought... heart everyone who visits/comments loads by the way. I'll get around to commenting everyone back... eventually. lmao. heart heart heart syringe this gorgeous site, this other gorgeous site & this other other gorgeous site pretty much random plugs this time. like really radom. well except for Brad. but uh yeah {/weirdness} 19 Aug 2006 by Jenny comments (0) We're Safe Now From All The Stupid Things We've Done I got the New London Fire CD. It's amazing. Like... really AMAZING. rainbow So anyway, the other night I watched Galaxy Quest again for the 987537568 time. Galaxy Quest is an amazing movie. I love Science Fiction... but oddly enough, I love Science Fiction spoofs even more. heart heart heart Makes me want to watch Hitchkikers Guide To The Galaxy again smile Yesterday I went to this festival thing. A bunch of groups performed and it was interesting enough. At first it was like gospel music... and I obviously don't like that sorta stuff but anyway later on there was more of rock/screamo music, at around midnightish a group called Out-KrI performed and they were amazing. Matt from Society's Plague sang/screamed for them. All I can say is Wow. I say amazing a lot don't I? oh well grin syringe Out-KrI & New London Fire & Brad (because I always plug her) 13 Aug 2006 by Jenny comments (0) This Is What Became New layout. obviously. Neww CSS too. Shoulda put Star Trek pictures on it. {Going through Star Trek Withdrawls} So I ordered the New London Fire CD... Since it's after the release date, no signed free copy of A Wave Form EP. sad Oh well... at least I get the CD. marty says: thats fucking awesome Jenny {No Day But Today} says: *nod* Jenny {No Day But Today} says: I know marty says: seriously its fucking awesome Is it really that great? I love it but uhm x_X doesn't make sense without the text. syringe super cool & uber rad 11 Aug 2006 by Jenny comments (0) We Don't Bleed So yesterday, I tried to preorder New London Fire's CD, I Sing The Body Holographic because, of course, New London Fire is amazing. Their CD comes out August 8th, but I highly doubt that I would be able to find it anywhere around here. Plus, if you pre-order it online you get a free signed copy of A Wave Form EP. I adore New London Fire... I want that CD. BUT THERE ARE NONE LEFT IN STOCK. sad I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... I need that CD... sad dead eh NEW LONDON FIRE'S I SING THE BODY HOLOGRAPHIC IN STOCK Now I just need to wait for my dad... Experience the amazingness of New London Fire on Pure Volume, My Space, Official Website, Eyeball Records, Last FM 07 Aug 2006 by Jenny comments (0) I hate Cute News Cute News deleted almost all of my comments... Most of them on my most recent post... and all of them on my others. dead I've bcome pretty addicted to Star Trek recently... not like the original Star Trek, but Star Trek: Deep Space 9 and Star Trek: The Next Generation... oh well... when I go home and I get back into my no TV habit I will complely forget about this temporary Star Trek addiction. eh Oreos 100 Calorie Packs Thin Crisps are amazingly good. I'm not too much for junk food... but those are just so AMAZING... So addictive.... I made a theme for Esque MB today... I really love it but I don't think it will be used. clickkk Too much blood? Noooo neverrr XD There's a new stricter dress code at my school now... I'll have to go shopping for more clothes... especially pants... Of course I'll try to get away with as much as I can without breaking the dress code gasp I'm still working on that new layout... Maybe I just won't finish it :/ I mean I love some parts... but some parts no matter what I do it's just not right... So I might end up giving up/starting over, eh? Some time... eventually... later... in the future... I plan on adding some "real" updates... Maybe some tutorials or graphics or at least something at any rate. It's not my fault I'm so lazy syringeKrissy and Brad are pretty amazing... Why don't you give them a shout? 02 Aug 2006 by Jenny comments (0) No Day But Today I saw RENT for about the 98776434508239876 time grin It's a good movie... if you aren't a homophobe and you're a little bit open to... the erm... yeah new things. I could tell my grandmother really didn't think too highly of it. eh Then again she's not really the most openminded person. My grandparents took us to a Chinese restaurant today. Perhaps they suppose that we miss Chinese food... since my mother has been gone for a while dead. First of all... I don't like the Americanized Chinese food people normally serve in Chinese restaurants, and secondly I hate eating in restaurants. I hate it when people can see me while I'm eating... sick It's just... I dunno... unnerving. Normally when I go to restaurants, I listen to people's conversation and I'll drink a cup of tea... Obviously I couldn't do that with my grandparents dead So I got a little bit to eat but I pretty much just picked at it. I only heard tidbits of conversation but it was interesting enough... grin things like... "This just isn't working, Jeremy" "Mom, free stuff is free stuff" "So do you guys want to catch a movie after this" That was pretty much it eh Not too much drama I suppose... Fortune cookies are pretty much the lamest things... but they give out fortune cookies at Chinese restaurants... and my grandparents were there so I played along with to and opened mine and yeahhhh... "Versatility is one of your outstanding traits" WTF is that supposed to mean? I mean... I know what it means. I'm not stupid... but like... okayyyyy... I guess that's great. I can change. whatever. Gawd I've got so much effing music stuck in my head... and mostly it's just tidbits of various songs... Story Of The Year... RENT music... eh yeah I'm lameee dead I'm thinking about making a new layout sick but I really have no inspiration whatsoever... I guess I'll just stare at the computer and wait for an idea... something special... something meaningful... something unique... eh although I guess that's not gonna happen anytime soon. Anyway... I hope you like the new emotes heart I made these grin angry bigx dead eh gasp grin heart sad sick smile 30 Jul 2006 by Jenny comments (0) Oh My I have Star Trek music stuck in my head... Of all things... STAR TREK music. Gawd and I don't even like television -.- Let alone Star Trek. Star Trek is pretty much the lamest show... No it's not the lamest show.. but it's lame. Degrassi is probably the lamest show but whatever. Anyway... I added 92 music codes today. If you'd like a particular band, drop me a comment or email or whatever and if I'm in a good mood I'll see about adding it. By the way... I don't listen to pop, rap, or country... and I really don't like putting things on my site that I wouldn't like myself. So uh yeah. Why don't you go run and tell Brad how amazing she is? 28 Jul 2006 by Jenny comments (0) x_X So I finally installed cute news. I've been meaning to for quite some time XD. I need to thank Joe and Aud for the help. THANK YOU! I'll do a full post and more updates later... right now I need to work on getting the emotes to work D: For now... all old news and updates before cutenews are here I don't know why the text looks so big... I guess I'll try to fix that later D: :/ I guess since I have a commenting system I might like actually blog blog here not just update :/ I dunno WHAT DO YOU THINK? 27 Jul 2006 by Jenny comments (0)